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Rule #11: If Bruno’s not invited, I’m not coming.
No Bruno, no beach day — that’s the law.
Product Details:
3.6 oz, 100% Polyester Mesh Body — breathable enough for your third margarita nap.
4.1 oz, 100% Polyester Dazzle Yoke & Sleeves — shines brighter than your ex’s new relationship.
PosiCharge® Technology — keeps colors locked in longer than your last situationship.
Crossover Rib Knit V-Neck — for when you want to look like you “tried,” but really didn’t.
Not Designed to Be Worn Over Pads — unless you’re emotionally padded.
Print Method: — soft enough to make your old cotton tees jealous.
| Size | Translation | Beach-Life Fit Description |
|---|---|---|
| S | “Still Working on That Six-Pack” | Slim fit. Ideal for guys who actually use their gym memberships. |
| M | “Medium Rare” | Balanced. Enough room for tacos, tight enough for thirst traps. |
| L | “Living Large” | For those who call every wave a workout. |
| XL | “Extra Lager” | Fits comfortably around beer bellies and beach chairs. |
| 2XL | “Double the Trouble” | Designed for men who surf hard, snack harder. |
| 3XL | “Triple Shot of Sunshine” | You didn’t come to play — you came to party. |
| 4XL | “Big Wave Energy” | Plenty of breeze, zero squeeze. Worn by legends only. |
Wash cold, hang dry, and avoid bleach — unlike that one summer fling.
Do not iron the logo unless you hate fun.
Best paired with sandals, sarcasm, and SPF 15 confidence.
Ships within 48 hours · Estimated delivery Jun 30 - Jul 5
US$40
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